If you read my last post, you would see that life has been pretty dang crazy the past two months or so. I tried to keep it positive in that post, but here's the reality: it's sucked. It's been hard. I have cried, I have yelled, I have sat in a dark room and tried to collect my thoughts.
But here's the other end of that reality: I am stronger. I have survived 100% of my bad days. I have gotten closer with the Lord through relying on Him through these trials. My prayer life has gotten a lot better. I have met people that I barely know existed before August, but that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have gotten closer with my friends because they have stayed by my side and have helped me. I have learned to ask for help and to accept the help that's offered (thanks mom, dad, and Mamaw).
I have the absolute best support group. While sometimes it feels like they don't understand what I'm going through, about school specifically, I know they are still there for me and would do literally whatever they can do to help me. And I could never in a million years thank them for that.
I have also learned that sometimes we just need to step back, cry it out, take a nap, wake up, shake it off, look at the big picture, get that diffuser pumping with some lemon and valor, put ya big girl panties on, and do the dang thing.
It's not always pretty and Instagram-worthy. In fact, I haven't posted on Instagram in close to a month because it hasn't been Instagram-worthy in my eyes. And that's why I come here. Because this is where I want to share what life is really like. The highs, the lows, the cries, the panic attacks, the tears of joy, the proud moments, and the moments where it feels like the thread holding me together is fraying more and more by the second.
So all of that to say, it's not always okay, and that's okay.
XOXO,
Payton